I Am 24 and Have Opinions!

I'M TRYING. OKAY?! I'M TRYING MY FUCKING BEST.

Jul 31

The Three Things I Want to Have Sorted Out by This Time Five Years from Now

  1. What do I want to do with my future?
  2. Do I really want to start a family?
  3. Is Drake good?

I am an adult. I have heard my mom tell me the story of how she earned her beads during her vacation to New Orleans two weeks ago, and I am officially adult, I can leave all the granola bar wrappers I want in all the places I feel like leaving them, and that is officially a thing an adult does.


Anonymous said: I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

iguanamouth:

image

image


Jul 30

arby’s

arby’s why is your slogan WE HAVE THE MEATS

i’m worried about you

i’m worried about the things you have chosen to do arby’s


Like, other sports have homoerotic underpinnings, but other sports also feature athletes like Glen “Big Baby” Davis, Bartolo Colon, and every offensive lineman in positions of prominence. Watching American Ninja Warrior has made me question things I never thought I would have to question much farther than I already had. Like, the summer I’ve spent with American Ninja Warrior has bumped me to a 3 on the Kinsey scale.


Excerpts from this video:

"When you’ve got triceps like Ryan, I say go for it!"
"Look at the intensity in his eyes!"
"People appreciate his friendly nature, and they appreciate his passion!"
"Look at that mean mug on Stratis! Ooh, arrgh, and a growl!"

This from the first two minutes.

Look, let’s not sit here and pretend that American Ninja Warrior is anything more than a celebration of the male body. What I’m arguing is, let’s go all the way with it. Logo? Logo. This is an open letter to you. You need to produce a version of American Ninja Warrior where the original footage is left untouched but the commentators are replaced by two dudes with, like, the silliest voices you can find, and they’re just saying the same words the two dudes on ANW proper said. “Ooooh, look at that mean mug on him! Ooh, grrr, and a growl!” Please, Logo. You need to make this the best program it can be.


Jul 27

I don’t know if I’m just ecstatic to be playing a video game on my television that was released after I graduated high school, but Super Paper Mario is A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF FUN like just all the things are in this game and it’s beautiful


note-a-bear:

I HATE THIS WEBSITE

(via tyleroakley)


Jul 26

A List of the Miis I Have Created:

~Me
~Liana, who I made to look like she was saying GURRRRRRRL all the time
~Caralin, of whom I am very proud
~Pa
~Mother
~Ellen Page
~Niall Horan
~WOLFSTORM.
~Nega Bob, of whom I am the second-most proud


Jul 24

HELLO, TUCSON! This is Waffle Marathon! We know you guys are waiting to hear “That Magic Touch (Fingers),” but ah, we’re gonna kick things off with a little rock sing-a-long. So if any of you out there know the words, feel free to rock out with us. This one’s called “Lost My Car, Found My Girl.”


Like, there’s watermelon Chobani now? And my goodness, that is one of the few foods I wouldn’t mind being the last thing I ever ate. Like, if I die while eating, I want it to be during:
~Watermelon Chobani
~Ben & Jerry’s milk and cookies ice cream
~Peanut butter sandwich (nothing fancy, not the green apple/sriracha/pb sandwich I grew fond of, just straight peanut butter)
~Waffle marathon (I want to die of unrelated causes while eating the first three and have a waffle marathon be what kills me.)


I wrote this exchange in my head just now, based on a conversation I had with myself, and want to see how it looks on paper.

  • A: I wanna buy enough Chobani to last me through the apocalypse.
  • B: You know yogurt goes bad pretty quickly when unrefrigerated, right?
  • A: I know. I plan to spend my last hour on earth eating Chobani before marauders come and kill me.
  • B: Die as you lived. I get it.

dad

dad why did you self-comment a lyric video for the rob thomas/santana collaboration “smooth” under one of your photos

dad i worry about you a lot sometimes


Jul 23

I’m glad that this year we have a hit summer single in which a man asks for permission before he gets with a woman. I… Well, I’m sure we all wish that he were asking for her permission, not her father’s, but, y’know, we’re getting closer! Baby steps! Look at you, pop music, you’re SO CLOSE!


YO

OKAY

HOLD ON

SINCE WHEN IS BAE NOT SHORT FOR BABY

HAS IT BEEN THIS WAY THE WHOLE TIME?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH


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